Ronald Hargett
Ronald Hargett
October 1, 1949 ~ December 21, 2021
Following a difficult recovery from triple bypass surgery, our dad, Ron Hargett, has gone on to be with Jesus. We are thankful we were able to execute his last wishes and care for him at home and keep him comfortable the last couple of days. He was surrounded by loved ones, and we appreciate all the prayers that have poured in. We loved him, and he will be greatly missed.
When a loved one passes, we reflect on the wonderful parts of that person's life. There are many memories of Dad that bring a smile to our faces and make us laugh. Even in this period of sadness, he cracked some jokes and continued to prove how impatient he is. He kept a roof over our head and food on the table. He loved to go fishing for perch and listened to his 60s rock just a little too loud. He would bring home a pack of Nerds candy, toss them to you, and say, "I saw this and thought of you." If by chance you got hurt, he'd remind you that he's had worse than that on his eyeball. He rarely missed supporting us at school events, and even converted to an Aggie to support Tiffany in college! He taught us to drive in the hay fields, insisting he had driven more backwards than we would ever drive forwards. He loved his animals - especially the dogs and the horses. He probably loved his favorite dog, Chevy, more than us. We think he had a Sam’s membership just to get cheeseballs for the dogs. He always encouraged us to do our best, no matter what we were pursuing, and supported us along the way.
Dad was always mildly obsessed with the idea of his legacy. In particular, he took pride in certain possessions and wanted them to be passed down to the next generation. We think that is because his childhood was marked by poverty, so it was a huge (and understandable) sense of accomplishment to be able to pass on the fruits of his labor. Even in his last moments with us, he insisted on telling us about where to find his most prized possessions and who he wanted to receive them. But to us, his legacy will surpass "the things."
One of Dad's favorite quotes of all time was from Stephen King. “[I know] Monsters are real... They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win.”
His good was good, and that's how we will choose to remember him in the years to come. However, to say that our dad's monsters rarely won would be a disservice to the people in his life. Let the testimony of Dad's life carry more meaning than that of the rose-colored lenses veiling the eyes in the final breaths.
We are unsure of all the bad in Dad's life growing up, but trauma was a gateway to many mental health challenges in his adult life. The manifestations of those challenges were difficult for us to navigate as young kids, teenagers, and even as adults. We suffered (and we use the word "we" intentionally) from his bipolar disorder, impulse control, and borderline personality disorder. But by the grace of God, we persevered and broke through the cycle that began so many generations before our time. We don't share this as an accolade to our own willpower nor as final vengeance. Rather, we share as a testament to the silent, wide-sweeping pandemic that grows and devours too many in the shadows as well as behind closed doors - the mental health crisis.
Our dad not only struggled personally, but he also devoted his entire career to mental health as a social worker in CPS, home health, administration, private counseling, hospice, and crisis screening. He helped reduce the stigma for so many people, but at the end of the day, he still struggled and did not always get the help he deserved.
If anyone reading this is bearing a burden or fighting a battle that feels like it's crushing you, please... for the sake of your own loved ones, reach out for help. We know it's a difficult step to take, but you are not alone. Spare them the scars and the weight of breaking the cycle in their own lives. CS Lewis once wrote, "Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say 'My tooth is aching' than to say 'My heart is broken.'"
Let our dad's legacy be so much more than the family heirlooms. Let his life be the end of a stigma - one he tried so hard to fight - and the beginning of hope.
- Stephanie & Tiffany
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I am thankful that Ronald and I had the opportunity to talk together this past month. He always asked how our girls were doing and I remember that every time we came in on furlough from Brazil he would invite the girls to come out and ride the horses. They enjoyed it and thankful always for him asking about our family whenever we would see each other. He told me some good stories as well. God bless you all at this time with strength and grace. Mark, Juaneylla, Deborah, and Barbara White
I just read the obituary reading and it was very moving to me. Thank you for sharing.
Ronnie was a high school classmate our last 3 years of school. I had occasion 8-10 years ago to share some clients with him in my work as a Psych RN and his as a Social Worker. He was very dedicated to that work and I appreciated what he accomplished. He was an essential and unforgettable member of Daingerfield Class of ‘68. Sincere condolences and prayers for you comfort on his passing. Jeanne Wentzell, Avinger TX
To the family –
This is one of the most beautifully written, helpful tributes I have ever read. Your thoughtful evaluation of the challenges faced and the Everest climb of conquering them is a witness to both his life and your love.
Thank you for one of the most memorable written tributes ever, and blessings in your pain.
Warmly,
David M. Lanagan
Ronnie was my classmate throughout our years at DISD, graduating in 1968.
Memories of those days are a treasure for me and Ronnie will always be a part them.
Jerry Russell
I graduated in 1968 with ronnie. He was a very quiet and kind person. This tribute was so beautifully written and I can assure you that ronnie is so very proud of his family. God bless you all and please know your family will be in my prayers for the next few days, months, years.
Ronnie was my DHS classmate. He served Coaches Lane, Woods and Manchester proudly as a manager and trainer. He was the hardest working guy on our team. All of us remember when Coach Woods stuffed Ronnie into the small space between the field house tar roof and hanging ceiling (made from chicken wire) in August to catch a thief who was stealing money from the player’s lockers during two-a-day workouts. After 3 hours face down against the chickenwire Ronnie ran over to Coach Woods and whispered I caught your man. He did. We will never forget that big smile on that quilted, red face.
Ronnie was a big man who never forgot his old friends. He never stepped into the courthouse without stopping by the DA’s office to say hello…and then maybe ask me a serious question…or rather telling me what he was about to do…and wanting me to talk him out of it.
He loved his family and would have been so proud of your heartfelt, honest tribute.
Thanks for being my friend.
Received the news of Ronnie’s passing, via Martha Clifton who is always so good to let us know how the Class of 1968 is fairing. I, too, graduated with Ronnie. I never knew he struggled with bi-polar disease. My family and I struggle with it. Like me, Ronnie must have been very good at keeping his emotions in check. I thank his girls for such a passionate and caring song of his life. A beautiful life too soon over, for this world.
Linda and family I’m saddened to hear about Ronnie.
I too was a classmate of Ronnie and class of 1968. He was a good person and my condolences to his girls.
I knew Ronnie, Linda, and his parents for many years. I am so sorry to hear of his passing! Thoughts and prayers for the family!
Ronnie was a special friend and never forgot a face. He will be missed. Prayer for your family.
I’ll miss talking to ya, brother.
Mike Johnson
Our family is very saddened to hear about Ron’s passing. As his neighbor the last 15 years, we enjoyed our little chats at the driveway and the fence lines. He was always kind and boy did he love you girls! Always bragging, even on that “Aggie” of his! He will greatly be missed out here on Pate Road ❤️
Though Ron and I have known each other for over a decade; it was not until these last several years that I was blessed to get to know him better..
My best and fondest memory was on one of his birthdays. He had invited me out to see the ranch he loved and proud of; and it turned out to be quite an adventure.
I met his horses and learned about each one of them, their names, which horse belonged to who, and that one was particularly old for a horse.
He showed me the grounds, some creeks, natural streams, and insisted that I had not seen half of it.
The first part was the most fun for me. He gave me a ride, ( if one could call it that, in the “bumpy pasture”, and I learned first hand why it was called that! Lol. Such fun!!! All the while telling me about his daughters, who when teenagers would go riding with their friends in it. Part of that adventure was when the ‘mule’? broke down on one of the roads and he had to walk back to the house and get assistance. He knew the trek back would be hard so I stayed in the mule and he had a neighbor come and stay with me until we were able to both get back to the house. And of course my visit would not be complete without meeting each of his dogs.
I can’t remember all the names, and only a story or two comes to mind. I think at that time there were six, and then one went missing for a day or two, which had him tore up inside.
So he then went to one of the shelters, adopted another dog, and then the one that was missing came back home!! I remember giving him a hard time about that! Because then he had SEVEN dogs!!! 🤣🤣🤣
It was getting towards evening time and I had to be going, though he really wanted me to stay and go fishing and meet Bobbie Sue who was supposed to come over later as they were going fishing.
I don’t think I could ever describe him as being at a loss for words. I often heard the same story more than once! 😁. He had a plethora of quotations and sayings stored on scattered papers and in his mind; and I can hear him saying now, “Have I told you the one that goes ……” and recite whichever one it was that came to his mind at the time.
And though he had recently retired, he was busting at the seams to find a place to get back in the saddle. He spoke with respect and caring about some of the people we both knew and had the privilege of working with…. Paige, Crystal, Shirley, Michelle, and Mary. And a few names I didn’t know.
He still had the best friend of his childhood and as a teenager, and would still talk to him over an hour or two at a time. (I’m sorry, his name doesn’t come to mind at this time.)
He often spoke of his sister whom he was very close to and was fortunate to speak to her often and sometimes for over an hour? And how she had a new job, and he was was so happy for her. He mentioned nephews and neices?, and of course grandchildren.
He spoke to me sadly and often of losing one of his sons that passed much too young and tragically; his pain and grief deep, ever present, and ever at the surface. He regaled me with stories of Stephanie and Tiffany, of their beauty, talents, accomplishments, and of course their intelligence. To say he was proud of them would be a vast understatement! And of course nothing could or would ever top, as he described her, “the love of my life “, Bobbie Sue. She was, he would be quick to say, the person whom his daughters inherited their beauty and all their other attributes!
I came to know him as a man that loved and cared deeply for family and friends; too easy to take offense and too easy to be hurt, but just as quick to forgive those he loved and cared for.
I learned some life lessons from him and I thank God to have known him. He was a good Christian, a good man, and a good friend. He was always his self, and what you saw is what you got. And if anyone wanted to know how the cow ate the cabbage; he would have had no hesitation or difficulty in telling how it did.